Darkness

All along mulling in darkness doesn't give me nothing. Light is a decieve and I knew it. The moment light enters the room it gave a useless sign of hope. A hope that everyone clings to and stupidly believe it will help them.

Darkness is all I needed. There's no idiotic things like in light. There's no pestering speeches of people thinking they are wise enough to change me. As light only blocks your way to your goal, darkness sought the path to it clearly.

I didn't swim in the darkness to be satanic or whatsoever. In the darkness doesn't mean to be doing what darkness wants. It is a place where I found myself better lived in light. Although my name has the word light in it, I don't like it. I am dark.

Black has always my favourite colour. Dark is basically black. So it goes along. Some people may think I am crazy or this guy is satanic but really, shut the fuck up when you knew nothing about me. You don't even scratch the surface.  Even if you tried I will resist. No one will ever understand me.

As if people really intended to save you. They saved you for you to do something better for them. Life has been such worthless thing to do. Lounging around solving problems that somehow blamed on you. Walking around like it's the best feeling in the world. But fuck that if I were to choose I will choose not to exist.

What for to exist in this kind of shit? I'm complaining and I'm angry that I couldn't change it. Even if I could it has been too late. That change should be done when I was little. Extinction would be easier. Now it's been so long and I'm so grown up like people said, I couldn't extinct. There is work for me to do.

Anyone who said they know they understand me are lying. Those who think they can help me with words are lying. In this super realistic world, no ones helping without looking out for themselves. Selfishness overpowered the real intention. Just like me, overpowered by darkness.

I didn't resist. I welcomed it. Because I know living in light will be much worse than in darkness. Darkness is quiet, silent. Perfect for me. Light will just fire things up and cause blaze to your heart. Darkness is cold, cool and calm. It is what my heart needed.

Don't tell me what to do. Don't act like you know what you are doing. I know what you are doing and you don't know what you are doing. My mind is intelligent enough to tell me that.

Everyone is like everyone else. I am my only own. My only true self. No one will ever know what I thought and how I feel. Darkness will fend them off for me.

Leave me alone in the darkness. Stop trying to pull me into the light. I'm tired of this. I'd rather go to hell than heaven. To suffer what I did for my last life not to enjoy what I didn't accomplish in heaven. If anyone will tell me what to do it will be my mind, no one else.